How to Survive the Madness of Marrakech

Marrakech is a city like no other, a city which doesn’t do things by halves. People, sounds and smells relentlessly earn your attention, ensuring that Marrakech leaves it mark on your memory. Every few seconds your airways will be exposed to alternating wafts of street food, fragrant oils, aromatic spices, and putrid rubbish piles. Your dreams will be interrupted by the echoes of the morning calls to prayer, and the buzzing beehive of people and traffic will surround you and swallow you up. My experience was exhausting and amazing.

Here are my top tips for surviving and, of course, enjoying the madness that is Marrakech.

Brace yourself.

Depending on where you have travelled to previously, your experience of the Medina (old town) has the potential to be quite overwhelming. To minimise the initial shock when you first venture into the Jemaa el-Fna (main square), you must be fully mentally prepared for the madness which awaits. Having read a number of articles about the city, I had a pretty good idea of what to expect; crowds, monkeys, snake charmers, noise, chaos and some very interesting looking characters.  Even with this knowledge, there was still a degree of culture shock, so going into it blind could be unsettling to say the least. Being psyched up before diving in really is half the battle.

Stay on your toes. 

Never in my life have I been in a pedestrian area where so many vehicles and wheleed contraptions are not only permitted, but are frequently and wrecklessly used in busy crowds. Mopeds, bicycles and carts all come whizzing towards you, or up behind you, even in the tighest of spaces in the most congested areas. The same goes at night, when the Medina is dimly lit and even more busy. While the fearless drivers’ crowd weaving skills are impressive, you really have to be alert and aware of what’s going on around you. This definitely wasn’t the place for my usual daydream wandering!

Don’t be fooled.

Having a bad experience with a taxi driver or a street vendor has the potential to taint your experience of Marrakech, and that would be a shame. You can try to avoid this by:

a) agreeing the exact price and route BEFORE you get into the taxi.

Ask in your hotel or riad what to expect price wise for specific taxi journeys, and don’t pay any more than this. Don’t agree to any suggested detours, unless you know exactly where it is you’re going and how much it will cost. We gullibly let our driver take us to “some other beautiful gardens, great for photo” after the Jardin Majorelle, which turned out to be desert wasteland where his mate offers camel rides. We didn’t want a camel ride, we also didn’t want to go to a suggested tannery instead, so we went back to the Medina where the driver dropped us a long walk from the square and charged us considerably more for the pleasure.

b) haggling ’til you can’t haggle no more.

Seriously, do not be afraid to haggle. Ultimately you are in control, as you are the one with the money. Do a bit of shopping around, or have a good idea in your head of how much you’d like to spend on each thing, then have fun with it. Before I went, I was wisely told, “it’s just a game, and you have to play the game”. If you can view it this way, rather than an awkward or insulting exchange, the whole experience will be far more pleasant. We had a laugh with the street vendors when they gave us their first ridiculously high price, by hitting back with one which was ridiculously low. We then haggled until we were happy to meet somewhere in between. It always finished with handshakes and smiles, and one vendor laughing and saying to me “you very tough woman”.

Rest your head in a peaceful riad. 

Although our riad was only a few minutes walk from the Jemaa el-Fna, it felt like another world given the calm and silence within. Riads are like the city’s secret treasures, hidden behind heavy, mysterious doors in dusty, rubbish strewn alleyways. Locked inside a shabby shell, you’ll find intricate interiors with colourful, traditional features and furnishings, elaborately patterned tiles, beautiful courtyards with orange trees, and no sound sparing the singing birds. After an evening in the square or lost in the souks, I craved the calming confines of our riad.

Don’t panic.

I say this in referece to getting lost in the souks (markets). This is a matter of when rather than if, because it really is inevitable. The labrynth of skinny streets would confuse a Crystal Maze champion and appear to be designed for disorientation. Forget maps, they will only add to the confusion and as soon as you pull one out, the stall owners will be drawn to you like moths to the light. Having no sense of direction, and apparently no clue where you are, can be quite unnerving, but just consider it part of the experience and know that you will find your way out eventually. We did so by following the next step; we found a rooftop cafe, established our location (the complete opposite direction of what we thought), and when we were leaving asked the owner which was the quickest way back. Sorted!

Move on up.

Climb the steps to one of the many rooftop cafes overlooking the Jemaa el-Fna, to enjoy the buzz and absorb the atmosphere from above. At night I was mesmerised by the square’s orange glow, the rising steam from the food stalls, the morphing crowds and the unwavering orchestra of noise. It will truly test your people watching skills; there’s so much going on, it’s like playing a Marrakech edition of Where’s Wally, while listening to an untuned radio on full volume.

Drink mint tea.

For no other reason than that it tastes SO good. This hot, minty-fresh goodness is served in varied levels of sweetness depending on where you are, and has instant relaxing and soothing properties. Given that alcohol isn’t very widely available – apart from in some riads and restaurants, and bars in the new town – mint tea was always our drink of choice, and at less than £2 for two people it would be rude not to!

Indulge in a relaxing hammam.

A hammam can most easily be compared to a Turkish bath, although the treatments are quite different. The hosts in our riad recommended the Isis hammam which is tucked away in the souks, just a short walk from the Jemaa el-Fna. We chose a package which included a traditional scrub in a steam room, followed by a one hour massage. It was such a treat – I loved being exfoliated roughly and watching my skin shed like a snake. I felt so light, fresh and relaxed by the time our massage was over, and we were given an essential farewell mint tea. This was definitely one of the highlights of our visit, and allowed us to scrub away any stress and dead skin.

Escape for a while. 

We were booked to stay in Marrakech for a whole week, which soon transpired to be too long in my opinion. I found that we could only immerse ourselves in the chaos of the Medina for chunks of the day, broken up by chill-out time back in the riad. Our other escape options were:

Gueliz (the new town) allows you to re-enter the modern world and see contemporary cafes, shops like H&M and some of Marrakech’s better restaurants. You can walk there in around 20 mins from the Medina, or take a taxi or horse & carriage.

Jardin Majorelle, formerly owned by Yves Saint Laurent, contains pretty tropical plants and exotic, bright buildings and fountains. It’s small and a short taxi ride away, so won’t take up much of your day, but is still worth a visit.

Essaouira is a chilled out, coastal city which was popular with hippies and the main man Jimi Hendrix in the 60s. You can do a day trip (which would be a really long day) or you can DIY by hopping on the cheap and efficient local bus service. We did this and stayed for 2 nights in a 5* hotel, costing us the same as the day trip would have! I loved Essaouira so much, I’ll be writing a post all about it very shortly.

The Atlas Mountains can be reached within the hour from Marrakech, and provide a much needed dose of scenery therapy and quiet time. We went on a day trip and were given a glimpse into the Berber culture as we visited traditional villages and houses, and saw argan oil being produced. The scenery alone is enough reason to go, with red sandstone mountains, the tallest wearing hats of snow which feed the rivers in the valleys below.

Embrace it.

Marrakech is one of the most unique and stimulating places I’ve been. Yes it’s busy, chaotic and you will get hassled a lot, but it is all part of the experience, and if you’re not going to embrace it then what’s the point? It was such a change from some of the destinations I’ve visited before, easy destinations perhaps. This gave me a great feeling of satisfaction, knowing that I had ventured out of my comfort zone, and came out of it feeling positive. You choose your attitude and approach to the experience; move with the crowd, play the haggling game, get lost in the souks because you have the time – you’re on holiday! Embrace it and enjoy it.

My Trip in a Nutshell:

• I flew to Marrakech direct from Glasgow with easyJet.
• I stayed in the amazing Riad Yamina which I booked on airbnb.
• My favourite traditional meal in Marrakech was at Al Fassia Aguedal.
• My favourite non-traditional meal in Marrakech was at Cantanzaro Pizzeria in Gueliz.
• I took the Supratours local bus to Essaouira – tickets can only be purchased from the bus station in Gueliz.

Did you find these tips useful?